The one where I explain terrorism to a four-year-old…

By Preschool Mom

I have a four-year-old boy. He asks questions about everything. All the time…

A few months back he started asking where Sesame Street was. It took me forever to realize he was asking this because the theme song asks “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?” After DAYS of fielding that question, I finally told him Sesame Street was in New York (because it looks like New York City to me) and hoped that would be the end of it. Silly me…that just lead to a lot more questions, like “How do you get to New York?” Answer “An airplane.” Question: “Where is New York?” Answer: “North of here.” Question: “What is north?” Answer: “Don’t you want to go outside and play?”

Not long ago my husband had to go to New York on business and my son’s first question to him was, “Are you going to Sesame Street?” My husband said he wasn’t going to make it that trip; he would wait until our son could go with him. Ironically, he was staying at a hotel in Times Square and one of the first things he saw when he got out of the cab were several Sesame Street characters posing for pictures. I felt vindicated; Sesame Street is in New York after all!

Being a teacher, I frequent our local thrift shop a lot for new books for my classroom. At ten cents a board book you just can’t go wrong. Today I was thrilled to find a children’s book called My New York, and snapped it up for a whopping 75 cents. WooHoo, I thought, a book to answer all the countless New York questions!!! My son flipped through the book without me first, looked up and said “Sesame Street isn’t in here.” I told him I was sure there were lots of other neat things to learn about and sat down to read it with him. It didn’t even dawn on me to check the copyright date of the book, and so I was shocked when the twin towers of the World Trade Center popped up in several sections.  

I could have just glossed over those two tall buildings, but something inside me said no. I know he’s only four, but it seemed to dishonor the memory of all those who died to not tell him a little about what happened. He is obsessed with bad guys right now, so when he pointed out the towers on the map I told him they weren’t there anymore, that really real bad guys knocked the buildings down. I left out the part about the airplanes (because with an upcoming trip to grandma’s I didn’t think TSA would look too highly on a kid talking about planes crashing into buildings) but I did try to explain about how people who didn’t like us did a very bad thing.

Was I wrong to do this? Did the limited information I provided him offer just enough for him to be confused or scared? Honestly, I don’t know. But it was a gut parenting moment where I felt like the truth was far better than the white lie of omission. I want to protect my children as much as possible. I want them to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Ultimately I want them to remain children for as long as they can. But I can’t ignore the world we live in, and I can’t pretend that it is always a safe place. I think my son needs to know that bad guys can be real and aren’t just characters in a cartoon. After all, that knowledge might one day save his life. 

Note: The edition of the book we read was from 1993. The New Anniversary Edition from 2003 is updated with the words “site of the World Trade Center.”